23/10/25 why are teenage boys so mean? i didnt even do anything to you? i literally cried for 30 mins straight in a bathroom stall during school yesterday, then i cried more when i got home. highschool sucks.
14/10/25 i take back what i said about "feeling better", im worse. ive been feeling like utter shit lately. looking chopped 24/7, grades going down the drain, and SICK but not sick enough to be absent from school. lowk going back into my facial dysmorphia phase lmao so thats funn!! anyywayyss..i lit got fucked in the ass today during intrams. little context, i used to run track, so i joined 50m run for our intrams this yr. i got 2nd place, i think? idk that isnt important, whats really important is that i saw *badminton. she was also in 50m and she got 1st but we werent in the same round. also, why are literally all the schools in my country suspending class but mine?? like guys influenza is THRIVING in our students and no suspension yet?? no health break?? r we deaduzz. im sorry im just fading in and out of consciousness right now, idek what im talking about? okay im done i gotta go rise and grind cus these As aint making themselves.
11/10/25 my hairdresser fucked up my cut so bad. man i messed up we gotta go bald
10/10/25 bruh some of the pics i used for my 'about me' page got deleted so now i have to find new ones. oops sorry for disappearing:pp i got too addicted to ts4 again lol. trying to fix my game cus its broken. ive actually been so sick these past few days AND i havent seen *badminton in like..3, 4 days? bruh fuck this stupid chunguss ass life. im sorry i just wanted an excuse to say that.
25/09/25 tried to revamp my diary today but its still an eyesore. i'll try to revamp my about me page later today. maybe. also alice in borderland s3 just came out so i'll prob be binge watching that the whole night lol. i've been feeling kind of(?) better recently. it still feels like everydays just repeating over and over again but still, im feeling better, and thats a good thing! im not doing that well in my academics tho:( (to my standards, atleast) so thats making me feel a lil down. its so weird being an honor student ur whole life and then just feeling like ur stupid no matter how hard you try once you enter highschool?? like guys i swear i used to be ahead of my class. im not trying to brag or have a pity party, im genuinely upset. its even worse when you start falling behind (laufey ref) in the subject that u used to excel at. ive been in math programs since the 1st grade and now im getting the easiest answers wrong to the point where i dont even try anymore because whats the point? im literally so tired of school. everyones already made their groups and im just in the corner like a little loser:( whatever, its fine. i dont really like anyone in my class anyways. i'd rather be alone than be friends with someone that i dont actually like. its freeing, actually. you dont have to pretend all the time. okay im going back to tiktok. byebye:)
24/09/25. finally finished renovating my home page! just have to do the others now. for my diary page, im thinking of a sort of notebook theme since its a diary. i actually kind of have some experience with notebook themes (because of my experience with everskies), so i think i already have an idea of what i want it to look like. for now, no one look at ANY of my other pages except my home page because everything else is currently under renovation so they look horrendous. im putting off renovating them rn actually cus i have hw...but i dont wanna do it...but i dont wanna do anything else either. ugh. i miss my friends from my old school sm:(
23/09/25. classes suspended again...also i really wanna change the layout for my other pages cus i think this layouts getting a bit repetitive and boring to look at. also my left eye's lowk inflamed so thats fun! its been a few hours now since i started renovating my whole profile, and ive only semi-finished my home page:( codings hard. still dont know what to put in that awkward blank space in the lower right corner, any ideas?
22/09/25. finished up the diary section! only have to work on the shrines section now and add my other socials to my "about me" page maybe. please please please ignore how the text here shows up over the polaroid of ellie when you hover over it...idk how to fix it:( prob gonna have to edit the charm on the upper right corner of the box as well cus the little white thing on the top looks weird, also might add autoplay music sometime soon cus i saw it on other profiles and it looks so cool but i think its gonna be hard to code it. i dont know what to put in the awkward blank space on the left side of the navigation buttons either...any ideas?? reminder that this section is literally just gonna be a place for me to yap about random stuff so dont expect anything tewww important. classes were suspended today, which im very happy about because i had a bunch of tests and quizzes today!! but i studied for math last night and now its gone to waste:(( i also really wanted to see her (lets call herr..badminton) today but wtv. she doesnt even know me and i have the fattest crush on her ever its so embarassing. but honestly, i think my brains just gaslighting me into liking her because i need motivation to go to school...and its lowk working so W brain ig. its also helped me get my mind of my old crush (lets call her jan) who i was OBSESSED w for like 6 months. i kinda miss her sometimes (for context, i transferred to another school this school year and her and my other friends stayed at my old school so im literally so lonely here), we were kind of friends for like 3 weeks..??? i also kinda think she liked me around the same time i liked her tbh. and then she started ignoring me. ummm..okay. and then she started giving me mixed signals, like one day she'd completey ignore me and then the next she'd be around me the whole day. like pick a side?? just had to remind myself, this is just highschool. i wont remember her in a few years. maybe. idk. i remember everyone, its actually kinda annoying cus that means that i cant forget about stuff that i want to. i lowk just realized how long this is, but then i remembered that prob no ones gonna read this and its just me and my never-ending thoughts. back to me transferring, i lowk never realized how peaceful it is having no friends. like yeah, i dont have anyone to talk to and i fear group projects like the plague, but at the same time, its quiet. i get to be alone and theres no one bothering me. dont get me wrong, i love my friends from my old school! i just wish that they'd leave me alone sometimes cus my social battery just dies randomly and i dont feel like talking. ik i should probably make new friends, but i dont really want to because i dont really like anyone in my class. and i dont want to befriend someone that i dont actually like cus that happened twice back in my old school and i was MISERABLE every single day. i literally cant wait for this school year to be over so that i can get a new section.
about me.!
diary.!
shrines.!
home.!